hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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