He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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