You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think i got beer on your cat.
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