Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
