So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
