i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There are leaves in my underwear?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
