no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
