I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
