i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
