you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
