You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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