Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
