I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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