The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
