How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
