Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
