I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
