dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
