I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
