I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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