Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's shark week go big or go home
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
