I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
