Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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