did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
