He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
