He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
