"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
