he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
