I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
