***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
