And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
