I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize