Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
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I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.