carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.