do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??