It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
