don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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