K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize