home. puking in laundry basket.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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