i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize