Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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