yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
