scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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