i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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