so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
