How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
