Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
