Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize