Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
