You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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