You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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