if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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