Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize