I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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