she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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