It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
