it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
