TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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